Q&A If the Affair Partner Attempts to Maintain a Relationship With my Mate, Should I Inform Their Spouse?

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Hi Rick. My husband and I have been together for 35 years, married for 27, with 3 adult children. He’s been having an affair for 8 years. I first discovered it in 2008 when he accidentally sent me texts meant for her. I confronted my husband and he admitted it and said he cut it off. I confronted her as well and she denied it. I decided not to tell her husband because I wanted to repair my marriage and didn't see how that would help. I then caught my husband with a secret phone in 2010. He denied any involvement with her or anyone else and said he was using it for sex lines. He said he disposed of the phone. 3 months ago I discovered their relationship had continued this whole time. She actually provided him with the secret phone and paid for it all these years. My husband and I are trying to work through this and I hope we can find a way to do it but it's important that she be held accountable. I feel like she came into our life, beat up me and my children and stole something so special to all of us. I tried contacting her husband back in April and several times since without success. I'm considering contacting some people whom I believe are family via Facebook to see if they will have him call me. It's really eating away at me. Should I continue to pursue this or let it go?



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