I'm Worried about My Affair Partner. What Do I Do?

Samuel shares insight and perspective on how the unfaithful can deal with this crucial struggle.

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Thank you!

Thanks so much for that! Everything you said I already knew but hearing it really brought it to light!

Limerence explained

Hi Samuel;
I saw one of your blogs recently that described what limerence was and how it affects the brain, etc.
I've tried searching out the most recent blogs but can't find it - any chance you could send it to me?
We LOVE your blogs and are doing the 7 day Bootcamp and feel like they have helped more than the attempts at seeing a counselor even-just haven't found the right fit for us yet :(

What if they swear they don't

What if they swear they don't feel this way? I anticipated dealing with this, and I believe I care more about how she is doing than he does. I have repeatedly asked about this and he is either lying about it or he really doesn't care. What does that mean?

My late husband attempted to contact AP just prior to his death.

I understand the need to close communication with the AF. I found out 2 weeks after my husband's death that he had tried to contact his AP of 20 years ago. I am devastated. I forgave him and all his AP's. He received counseling for sexual addiction, was a Believer & I thought was committed to our marriage. How do I recover from this final betrayal alone? I don't feel I can share this with my adult children as it would devastate them again. Maybe he felt he should apologize one more time, since his health was very bad. Maybe he wanted to see if she was doing well. Whatever the misguided reason, it hurts terribly. Please advise.

hi broken again....

i'm terribly sorry for what you're facing.  it's very common to feel how he felt....to try and apologize or reconcile what he did to her at the end of his life.  i do hear about that frequently....  not justifying it at all, just something that i do hear about.  nevertheless, it hurts like hell i'm quite sure.  the best suggestion would be to take harboring hope, which opens today at 12pm.  it's a safe place, with other betrayed women, who are trying to heal.  some are divorcing, some are trying to save their marriage, and about everything else in between.  it would be a support group i'd highly recommend so you have other women, not your children obviously, that can support you in your healing and moving on.  here is the link to it:  https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/harboring-hope   should you get this today, wednesday, i can give you a private link to sign up but you'll need to email me at samuel@hope-now.com for it.  i would say it's probably the best thing for you right now to reconcile what's gone on.  i'm very sorry for the pain you're feeling as the situation is very unique indeed.  not impossible to overcome but filled with a few unique challenges for sure. 

What type of affair was it?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas