Q&A Leave? Stay? Conflicted!

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Married for 20 yrs. I'm the betrayed. I have endured my husband's continuous viewing of porn, sex phone calls, strip bar visits, catching him intimately hugging my good friend and stroking her back, exchanging numbers with a girl from a bar, withholds information, lies, other types of deception, and doesn't put much effort into healing etc... We both completed the individual online Affair Recovery courses. He will follow a completed program for about a week or two, but then goes back into his old ways. I am the one making more of the effort for us to get better. He places most of his energy into his career and anything/one else other than me. He works in the alcohol beverage industry which places him in drinking environments and other activities that I am not comfortable with. He says if he doesn't participate, he could get fired. He tells me all the right things I want to hear, but his actions don't always match. I feel like he is well aware of what he needs to do and what my feelings are across the board. My conflict is that I don't know what to do. Leave. Stay. The toxic cycle remains. He does whatever he wants, I do all of the roller coaster emotions, press for some type of healing program, he completes it, gets realigned, he goes back to old habits, and the above cycle starts over. I am tired of this! I need direction. Help!



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