Q&A Should My Husband Contact the Affair Partner to Break Things off If They Haven’t Had Contact in Almost a Year?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My husband had a 14-month affair with a woman he had known in high school 35 years ago who pursued and flirted with him via social media. He was at a very vulnerable place at the time having just lost an important job, and I was away with the kids all that summer when she contacted him. The affair ended when she broke it off. He was left confused and tormented at the loss of this flattering, ego stroking, affair partner. He would never have broken it off voluntarily as he was so entangled. He confessed the affair 2 months after it ended and miraculously it has brought us closer than ever. We are so overjoyed and grateful to have had this critical wake up call to bring us back together as a couple. However, I am suffering the severe trauma of what happened and I feel a strong need for him to communicate to the affair partner that he has chosen me and that he sees what a colossal mistake he made. They haven’t communicated since the end of September 2022 but I want him to send her a final definitive message to say never to contact him again- that it was a huge mistake and he regrets it all. Is this a bad idea? It would feel satisfying for me but I’m wanting your advice.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas