We have been married 31 years. We are currently separated due to revelation of past affairs. The last one was 20 years ago. There has been porn use and mistreatment for years. We've had very bad counsel where the affairs and porn were not addressed. He has lied about me and our marriage history in counseling. About 5 years ago I woke up to the fact that my husband is emotionally abusive and habitually deceitful. He twists words, blame shifts, and overpowers me with words. This left me with no voice for a very long time. This has continued as I have tried to talk to him about the affairs and other issues. We have gone back to the old counselor who now gets what is going on. My husband recently pulled out of individual counseling. I am seriously considering a legal separation while leaving the door open to reconciliation. Is there any hope for us? What would you suggest? We attended another affair recovery seminar, but haven't really been able to talk, so I don't think he would agree to attend the EMS Weekend.