How Do You Deal With Infidelity in Relationship? What Is a Shame Spiral? The journey of the unfaithful spouse eventually reveals a need to confront shame. Those who feel ashamed often continue to do shameful things, and we know infidelity can be incredibly shameful for all parties involved, even for peripheral family members and close friends. Without a plan to confront and heal shame in the life of the unfaithful, both parties in the relationship or marriage can feel behind schedule, if not altogether stuck. The good news is, shame doesn’t have to be the taskmaster in the relationship, nor does it have to be the ruling force in the life of the unfaithful party. As it’s been said before, “there is a better way.” When an unfaithful spouse can do specific and targeted work to heal their shame, they proceed further and further toward forgiving themselves. When a former unfaithful enters into the process of genuinely forgiving themselves, they become safer and more empathetic to the betrayed party in every facet of communication and recovery work. Today, our alumnus Samuel discusses his own journey of self-forgiveness, and how he too had to diffuse shame. Registration for Harboring Hope Opens Soon! You don't have to do this alone. Our online course for betrayed spouses is life-changing, encouraging and full of hope. "I just completed the Harboring Hope program. My husband was unfaithful to me emotionally, physically and sexually with a co-worker. What I wished I would've known is that forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. People who refuse to forgive can never live their own lives, they are too busy obsessing about the life of the one who hurt them. They are stuck. They are unable to enjoy friends, family or even their children. They imprison themselves in a bondage of their own making. I definitely recommend the Harboring Hope program as a support for healing. To be in a safe community with other women who know what you're going through and how you're feeling is comforting. Whether you're able to reconcile or not, there is hope." — M., Michigan | HH Participant, April 2021. Space is limited! Use the button below to subscribe and be notified before registration opens. Subscribe to Registration Notifications!