Q&A Is There Something I Should Have Done, or Should Do Now?

My wife had the affair. She has refused counseling and has chosen to abandon me and has even stopped being around her family as well. I have not seen her or talked to her in almost 3 months. This has been extremely hard and even feels like I am trying to cut myself off of drugs. I am in so much pain, but I know I cannot be with the woman she is choosing to be. I’m sure she is involved with her AP or a new one by now and this constantly devastates me. My question is, am I wrong for not talking to her? Am I wrong for not reaching out more than I did before the no-contact? I tried so hard to get her to attend MC and she refused to go saying “I don’t even know what I want, why go get counseling?”. Finally, I decided to just let her be and basically created a no-contact with her and this is how it has been since. I have absolutely no closure and all I know is that she had an affair. I love her, I miss her dearly, but I’m aware she is completely unhealthy right now.