Q&A Is There Something I Should Have Done, or Should Do Now?

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Question: 

My wife had the affair. She has refused counseling and has chosen to abandon me and has even stopped being around her family as well. I have not seen her or talked to her in almost 3 months. This has been extremely hard and even feels like I am trying to cut myself off of drugs. I am in so much pain, but I know I cannot be with the woman she is choosing to be. I’m sure she is involved with her AP or a new one by now and this constantly devastates me. My question is, am I wrong for not talking to her? Am I wrong for not reaching out more than I did before the no-contact? I tried so hard to get her to attend MC and she refused to go saying “I don’t even know what I want, why go get counseling?”. Finally, I decided to just let her be and basically created a no-contact with her and this is how it has been since. I have absolutely no closure and all I know is that she had an affair. I love her, I miss her dearly, but I’m aware she is completely unhealthy right now.

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