Q&A As the Wayward Spouse, How Can I Rebuild Trust with My Husband?

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Is it actually possible to build a solid foundation of trust ever again? Can a marriage be successful without that full level of trust, as we had once before? My husband and I are two months past D-Day. Though we have made *some* headway - by headway, I think we are mostly past the flooding, marathoning, we've reached ground zero, etc. and have had more and more content moments/days with each other. However, he is adamant in knowing he will never be able to trust me again. I feel it's so easy to say - that like anything, that will come with time. But will it ever, really? I can understand his perspective and honestly, I agree to a point that he can never really trust me again. After all, I never thought in a million years this would happen - that I'd be the person who could do this, I've looked him dead in the eye and lied to his face on several occasions that I wasn't cheating when I was at that time and made him feel crazy for asking such a thing and that he had no reason to think that (hello gaslighting). I swore to God, our family, our friends and to him on our wedding day to be faithful. Yet here we are. Here I am. Although I am confident about the work I'm putting in on changing (many) things about myself so I never put myself in a situation like this again, how am I ever able to really get him to trust me ever again? I truly don't know that time will slowly build this back up, when for so long I never thought I'd do this to begin with, and that I've lied about so many things - it seems naive to think that someone could trust someone who's done the things I've done, no matter how much time passes.



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