Q&A What Can We Do Differently?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My husband and I have been married 3 years. I always knew something wasn’t right and two months ago, I learned he has had an affair partner on the side since the start. He has actually had her “on the side” for 12 years, even during the duration of his last relationship, she was on the side. More information has trickled in about other women he has slept with as well. After finding out and him promising he was “all in”, he returned back to his affair partner, told me he wanted a divorce, and applied for an apartment behind my back. He came back again realizing that was a mistake again promising to work through this-now we are in EMS Online. The affair partner still aggressively pursues him, saying she won’t tell me and just wants to be with him in any capacity. I’m constantly fearful. I keep having trauma responses, I flood and say mean things, cry, yell, slam doors, and leave the house. Once I am calm, I feel terrible, try to explain what triggered me/made me unsafe, and plead for his support and understanding, but he doesn’t care and gets angry at me. I'm doing the best I can, going to therapy etc. He doesn’t seem remorseful and doesn’t understand the magnitude of what this has done to me. This prevents me from moving forward and makes me feel like I’m retraumatized daily. Please help us understand what we can do differently or what is going on.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas