Q&A What If He Can Never Truly See the Affair Partner for Who They Are?

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My husband consistently says he doesn’t want to talk about her because she’s not worth it. Clearly he’s chosen me. If she was great he’d be with her. But I feel his unwillingness to talk about her especially in a true negative light is a problem. Especially since she seduces him by telling him he wasn’t a man for all the things he did for me. She used loving me as a weapon & turned him against me. I feel I’m still feeling as he’s working to never go back to being the man he was before the affair. He says that man was weak, but that man was my husband of nearly 20 years whom I loved dearly. Why can’t he see that while our marriage wasn’t perfect pre-affair, that the problems only began when she came along? Or is it that I need to see that she unearthed what was there all along?



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