I saw a past question but no answer except to ask your therapist. I am on my fourth one now specializing in affair recovery all telling me to look forward and not in the rear view mirror. I might also add that this is a repeated affair after the same communication/marriage issue with another woman. I feel like in therapy and life we focus more on past problems in our marriage rather than the affair. I know we need to fix what was wrong but no one seems to understand my need to work through the affair part. It's like it's all about him..... just like the affair was. When is it my turn? I sometimes feel, I should have an affair to get my voice heard.