Q&A Why Can't My Spouse See How They Could've Prevented Their Affair?

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Question: 

My husband’s affair started with a friend of a friend on a bachelors weekend away. Then through shame & manipulation the affair continued on lunch breaks for 5 months until I discovered it. My husband always says he wishes he would’ve just told me as soon as he returned from the trip. And just last night he said, “If I would’ve told you right away it would have just been a one night stand.” Why can’t he see how he could’ve prevented the one night part? Why can’t he speak about how he should’ve handled himself that night & avoided going back to her room? He keeps saying he made a mistake but even with alcohol it was a choice in my eyes. How can I ever truly be safe if he doesn’t see this?

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