Q&A Why Has Our Recovery Journey Been so Different?

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Question: 

My husband and I participated in EMS Online almost a year ago. I noticed around week 4 that he wasn’t really all in. He seemed frustrated at the content and scoffed at the material. His homework assignments were half completed. I asked him how he felt about the class and got “I don’t know” answers. Meanwhile, I was taking it all in. EVERYTHING that was said, mentioned, and noted I could relate to. We did “complete” the class- as in watched all the lesson videos and attended all conference calls. But I felt slighted. He didn’t really do the course. He finally admitted after the class, which is also when we separated, that he felt guilted and shamed by the course. I’ve gone on to take HH and rewatch lessons from both classes frequently. He has found a SA-type group that he’s connected with. But, what does it mean that he’s still rejecting something that is so helpful to me? He refuses to give the AR material another look. We are still separated because of escalating unsafe behaviors, not accepting responsibility and lack of empathy.

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