Q&A Will Our Marriage Get Better?

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Question: 

D-Day was 9 months ago. My husband was in a limerent affair and it was sexual too for 1 1/2 years. We went to EMS Weekend in April, followed by EMS Online, and we are still in M4L. He was in relapse during the EMS Weekend and I didn't know it. He said he didn't see the affair partner during the two months he was in relapse. They would text, talk on the phone, and write notes, but no physical or face to face interactions. Recently, I checked his phone and discovered that he has looked her up on Facebook several times in the past month. He has NEVER come clean on his own with any of my discoveries. Whenever I confront him he lies and denies it until I press to get the truth. We had the best emotional, heartfelt, conversation after I saw the history and he did open up to me that he was grieving and wanted to see her face. Relapse seems to happen every two months at this point. The encouraging thing is it does seem to be one step less than the previous contact, if in fact he is telling me the truth about any of it. I know from your courses that relapse is a part of recovery. He said he wants our marriage to work 100%. He started a new job which are very long days, and had to stop counseling, but now is willing to go at night and will look into Hope for Healing. My question is: How many more times will I have to put myself out there and put up with relapse for our marriage to survive?

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