It has been 3 years since discovery and my husband has shared things about the affair, but rigidly avoids first contact and his premeditated reservation of a hotel room after only 2 weeks of interaction. The small information given has changed 4 times, finally hearing, “I don’t remember.” His unwillingness to look into the why or acknowledge the deliberateness of his actions has kept me stuck. I've worked hard for 3 years. He has only done two years of couples counseling as a body in a chair. Support has been poor and he says he’s just waiting for me to get over it so we can have a future together. You discuss many things that make success difficult long-term unless they happen, which they haven’t. There’s absence of safety, but with love still between us, it’s confusing.