Q&A Could You Elaborate on ‘Affairing Down’?

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Question: 

I was wondering if you could elaborate more on the "affair down" concept and the argument that it is more about something lacking in the unfaithful partner than in the betrayed. I have watched as many videos as I could find however I am finding it very difficult accept. From my perspective it appears that in my situation my fiancé of 2 years actually "affair-ed up", at least from a socio-economic position and perhaps in other areas too. He appears better in many areas. While I have experienced a high level of success myself, the last 5 years have been challenging and I no longer have the income, social status, and material items that I used to and that the affair partner has now. The affair partner is very successful financially and is of a higher social status. My fiancé has reported that the affair partner is “Everything that I wanted you to be” and again in some ways better than myself. She chose to move forward with the affair partner and is not willing to do any type of work with me. This leads me to believe that in fact sometimes the betrayed isn’t enough. I do feel guilt and shame for not being able to compete right now. I’d be grateful for your feedback.

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