Q&A How Can I Believe What My Husband Is Saying?

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Question: 

We are eight months from several discoveries, we have completed EMS Online, and I begin Harboring Hope soon. We have been married thirteen years. I have learned that my husband’s affair started with an ex, before our marriage, and continued on via email, texting, and other sources throughout our marriage. How do I trust the hard work my husband has been doing when I know they could go months without engaging and pick right up again? He claims he loved her but she left him for another man back in the day, and he never got over her. He’s in individual therapy and we see a marriage therapist. How can I believe him when he says he’s emptying his heart of her, and only ever wanted me? How can I believe in a marriage that’s had her in it all along, and him with a somewhat divided heart?

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