Q&A How Can I Handle My Wife Not Being Intimate After Her Affair?

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Question: 

Hi I love and appreciate all the Q&A questions. The one thing that would really help me understand some of this better is if it is reversed in many questions referring to the genders of the people and the roles. For example, if it is the woman who is having trouble being intimate after her affair. My wife was back in the emotional affair just 3 months ago before i said i was filing for legal separation on June 1, and now i am sleeping in a separate room to give her space. She has said long kisses trigger her to want the AP. and sex is impossible to do unless she is feeling it biologically. No connection to me and she feels like all her feeling for monogamy are with the AP. She has indicated to more than one of her friends that she wants to separate and go back to the AP. What resources in terms of counseling can I ask her to do to help us reconnect and for her to get through the grief she says she can't take anymore? She has been seeing an IC for the last 12 months since discovery. When she went back to her emotional affair by separating down the hall after Easter she dropped to every other week. She said her IC did not help much yet she continues to go even though she says they mostly talk about the marriage now.

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