Q&A How Do I Co-Parent with Someone I Don’t Respect?

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My husband & I have been married for 28 years. There have been at least 3 affairs: one in 1999 in which he wanted to leave me for his affair partner, and two drunken work encounters in 2016. The 2016 encounters later became accusations of sexual misconduct in 2017. It’s been two years and I don’t have the courage to stay. As I go through Harboring Hope, I find validation to move on. He is saying all the right things and hope he can be a better man, especially to our two teenagers. His words and actions of remorse & regret don’t move me from wanting to distance myself from him as much as I can. I can’t be in a marriage with a person that has forced themselves on women. The deceit & ability to hide it from me is unnerving. I felt we had an extraordinary happy & blessed life. His actions did not lead him to examine his life or take action to address his vulnerabilities. It took being fired and devastating our lives (again, only now with 2 kids) for him to have remorse and proclaimed reformation. He does not want to divorce. He has done many things right post-D-day, but nothing seems to give me the security of this broken soul. He's on his best behavior, but as soon as life gets hard, his vulnerabilities will once again fail us. How do I co-parent with someone I don’t respect?



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