Q&A How Do We Overcome Such Destructive Behavior?

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Question: 

I have been married for 27 years. 6 months ago I discovered my husband was having affairs with 2 of my friends. Both of which were our sources of income through employment and tenancy. The affairs have touched every aspect of our lives. For 6 months I’ve been battling to recover from the devastation, and come to terms with what he has done. Through this I have become violent and suicidal. I felt crazy all the time. I couldn’t get over the feeling that he was still hiding something big. Last week I asked him to take a lie detector test. At which point he broke down and revealed a lifetime of sexual acting out. Our entire marriage has been filled with phone sex, porn, sexual massage parlors, escort services, and sexting affairs. He’s been with hundreds of woman, while I thought I was in a monogamous, loving, wonderful marriage. He says wants to stay married and stop all the negative behaviors, but his lies continue. I don’t think he knows what is true and what is not. He seems very sick to me. I feel like the only way to protect myself from his lying behavior is divorce. Do men have success going sober from such severe and lengthy behaviors? Are inpatient programs superior to individual therapy?

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