Q&A How Long Is Too Long for Grieving?

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Question: 

I am listening to the lesson on grieving. It has been 3+ years now since D-day. I have days where the sadness still reaches out to bury me. My husband has not seen it necessary to begin any recovery work on himself. We have done EMS Online at my request but to me it was his just jumping through a hoop. I feel his unwillingness to seek help is an additional source of my sadness and anger. I don't want to go the path of bitterness. John talks about pathological grief, when it goes on too long. How long is too long in the case of infidelity? I am well past the 18-24 month check point. I feel so stuck.

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same story

I listened to your question that 3years after you still feel like this, its very scary for me because my husband also did not see the need to engage in any recovery work, he has swept this under same carpet like he does with any issues for the past 20years, he's waiting on me to babysit him, few weeks after discovery, I will be the one to search for videos, share with him, he wont watch till I get back from work 'in the evening as I retire to bed to sleep he turn to say 'can you play the videos on your phone so that we can listen together', it is very tiring and frustrating that i stopped sharing videos with him and decided to seek help for myself and that's what brought me here.

same story

I listened to your question that 3years after you still feel like this, its very scary for me because my husband also did not see the need to engage in any recovery work, he has swept this under same carpet like he does with any issues for the past 20years, he's waiting on me to babysit him, few weeks after discovery, I will be the one to search for videos, share with him, he wont watch till I get back from work 'in the evening as I retire to bed to sleep he turn to say 'can you play the videos on your phone so that we can listen together', it is very tiring and frustrating that i stopped sharing videos with him and decided to seek help for myself and that's what brought me here.

Same for me..

Yes, I feel that I am in the same boat. 3 years out from dday and my husband has done whatever I have asked such as ems online, some counseling sessions, but has never taken initiative on his own recovery work or instigating recovery for our marriage. I also feel stuck. Need to see initiative on his part and not sure if I will ever be able to reconcile if this does not occur. He has been made aware of my feelings and still I have seen no initiative on his part....frustrating. Anyone have any suggestions?