Q&A Is It Possible to Forgive a Person but Not Forgive Their Actions?

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I have been married for 47 years. Twenty months ago, I learned I was a betrayed spouse and had been lied to for 45 years. My husband & best friend started cheating our second year of marriage by going to massage parlors. He’s had multiple one night stands, was heavily emotionally invested in and actively pursued a co-worker for 8 years, and had a life-long porn habit. He was a very self-absorbed, defensive person whose thinking and behaviors were clearly messed up beyond my wildest imagination. Since disclosure, he faced himself for who he was and has been trying to be the best husband and friend that he can be. I am devastated, hurt and angry, but love this man. We want to stay together and are working hard to regain trust and rebuild our relationship. I am not ready to forgive, but have a question. Someday, through the passage of time, I hope that I can forgive this man. However I don’t think I can forgive his hurtful actions which I view as being unforgivable.



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