Q&A Is an Obsession with Beauty Part of a Deeper Problem?

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My husband has always stressed about my weight, even early on in our marriage when I was thin. He never shamed me (he’s not a mean person) but he would always ask things like “are you sure you want to eat that?” or “wouldn’t you rather be at the gym right now?” I gained weight after my two kids and it took me several years to lose it. After my weight loss I found out that he had been having an affair. She was fit, trim, and attractive. But when I lost the weight he ended the affair. We got Christian marriage counseling (his idea). I also kept the weight off until menopause, wherein I gained 40 pounds and even following Weight Watchers caused me to gain, not lose. His comments began again. Even my running 12 half-marathons didn’t count because I wasn’t thin anymore. 2-1/2 years ago he started another affair with an attractive, fit, and trim woman. A year ago he was sobbing while saying to me “I love you but I’m sorry, attractive people belong with attractive people”. I also found out later he was embarrassed to drive his BMW if I was a passenger. Other than this fixation on my weight he has always been my biggest cheerleader, praising my intelligence, my career (I do make more than him which he says he’s fine with), and how I’ve raised our kids. His childhood was a train wreck and he’s told me he doesn’t feel he’s worthy of being loved. Is there a correlation?



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