Q&A What Are Your Thoughts on My Situation?

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We are four years past discovery. My husband lives alone and continues his non-committal relationship with the affair partner. The first year after discovery I ran to God, read scripture, prayed, journaled, and worked through my anger, culminating in forgiveness. I felt called by God to stand for my covenant marriage. Year 2: I cultivated a relationship between my husband and kids; they still need their father. I invited him for family dinners, our vacation, and Christmas. I began to own my part in our failed marriage. Year 3: The Lord continued to heal childhood wounds and taught me that my worth is found in Him. I don’t feel rejected by my husband any longer. I just feel sorry for him. Year 4: At the prompting of the Holy Spirit I have begun to cultivate a friendship with my husband (which he is eager for), showing unconditional love for him when he doesn’t deserve it. His return is solely in the hands of the Lord, and cake-eating won’t hinder God. I still have moments, but I bring them to the Lord, and soon am free again. I'm an independent, happy person. My life is full. I don't need my husband but choose to love him whether or not he returns. My college-age kids seem to really appreciate this, their own anger towards him has lessened, and I have seen their faith grow. I would like to know your thoughts, how often you encounter this with those you counsel, and how children fare through a journey like mine.



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