Q&A What Can I Tell Him to Do for Me If I Can’t Trust Anything He Says or Does?

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My husband had an affair that started last August with flirtatious messages and culminated into a weeklong rendezvous that included late night messaging, and meet ups where kissing was involved. He says he had no real emotional connection with her but he was “flattered” by the fact that someone was interested in him. He “ended” things in August and stopped talking to her when I wasn’t present, but started talking to her again in November. The kissing he said happened four times and caught him off guard all times. He called it off after the fourth time and wanted to tell me but wanted to wait since I was pregnant so I found out from her when she told me. He initially lied when he told me his side of the story. He even swore on his deceased father and our unborn child that what he was telling me was true. He says he was scared and ashamed to tell me the truth. Then continued to tell me he had told me everything. 4 months later, he tells me he was also watching porn at work with his coworkers so again something he kept from me. He says he forgot. He wants to fix things. He says he’s been doing devotionals, reading books, seeing a therapist. But the trust is gone. So when he asks me what he can do to help me when I flood or if I’m sad, I don’t know what I can tell him because I just think he’s a liar. I want him to help me though. What can I tell him to do for me if I can’t trust anything he says or does?



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