I am trying to find peace in all this. My spouse had an emotional affair with my friend. When I would bring up her ambivalence she would state that she is doing a lot for our marriage. She would state that she is not going over to his house and has stopped all communication. 19 months past D-Day I found out they had been writing letters to each other and that she continued to go over to his house. I thought I was helping by sharing information with his wife and told her about the letters. She surprised me and said that she was uncomfortable with them writing letters but knew it was happening. She said that she has forgiven them for getting so attached to each other. She feels like their attachment is over and life can resume as normal. I do not feel like their attachment is over and am very uncomfortable with my wife being friends with him and his wife. To cope I have started to protect myself from the pain by putting up walls and trying to care less about her and what she does. What might be a better way to deal with my pain?