After emotional affairs with-in 2 years of marriage and then a fatal attraction style physical affair year 6, we have been separated 9 1/2 mos. We never got professional help and I had to "fight" for my husband to do anything one would expect. He doesn't want to be accountable, seek counseling or be transparent. He insists he doesn't have a problem even though he was unfaithful in his first marriage. Things came to a head last May. Years of no safety and his defensiveness and refusal to allow me to work through triggers, etc. I started counseling. I did bring up divorce if he wasn't willing to work on our marriage. Now, he uses that as an excuse to not return home. Even though I've been seeking counseling and have asked him to go on several occasions. He even had me assist him is setting up an appt. only to not show up. Because of my faith and the covenant we entered into, I have held on. I'm so angry because he won't take responsibility, leaves me in the position to make all the decisions. He leaves me but won't initiate the divorce. I sensed he was/is in an affair starting approx. 18-20 months ago. No proof, just intuition.