Q&A What Should I Do?

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My wife and I have been married for 16 years, and it has been about 6 weeks since she admitted her emotional affair with a co-worker to me. Since then, she has told me that she is ambivalent about the marriage, and her relationship with the other man has now progressed from secret texts and phone calls to a few dates. In fact, she is out with her affair partner as I type this. She tells me they have not had sex, but I have no way to verify that. We are registered for EMS Weekend, but that isn't for another two months or so. I am struggling with setting and maintaining boundaries in the meantime. I have contemplated asking her to move out if she insists on seeing her affair partner, but part of me feels like there may be a benefit to just "keeping my fingers in the dam" until we go to EMS Weekend, and then ask her to leave afterward if no progress is made on her part. I'm concerned that following my instinct and telling her to move out now would a) increase her unencumbered contact with her affair partner, and b) lessen the likelihood that she will follow through with her promise to go with me to EMS.



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