Q&A Why Does This Hurt Me?

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My spouse and I are both working on recovery through Affair Recovery for the past month. The infidelity wasn't physical, but he's learning that he seeks out validation through flirting and messaging other women. It's been very helpful through AR and we are making progress on having those tough conversations about the infidelity. However, I am still at a loss when it comes to my partner and I's sex life together. This has been an issue for me for a few years now. I have always had a higher sex drive it seems like, and my husband says that he just isn't in the mood for sex as much as I am. Also, when my unfaithful husband talks about us having sex, he uses a lot of derogatory words and carelessly asks me to just "hop on" or tells me "I'm here if you want to". Why does this hurt me so much? I want something more than just a "good time". I actually want to connect with him and take our time enjoying each other, but I'm having a hard time explaining that to him, and he doesn't seem to grasp what I'm explaining. Any advice is appreciated.



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