We are four months past discovery. My husband still has not answered many questions. We have been separated almost 3 months but he is interested in reconciliation and has agreed to go to the EMS Weekend in three months. He only has begun doing any recovery work this past week, other than watching a few Affair Recovery videos. He is seeing a counselor for alcohol and is sober now and has just begun phone counseling with John but because of his lack of doing recovery work he still is not safe to live with me. He was in a sexual affair for 7 years and carried it on for an additional 19 years as a long-distance emotional texting connection. He ended it the day we signed our separation agreement. I fear that although I am committed to forgive, I have no desire to reconcile. Every night, I have horrible nightmares of he and his affair partner having disgusting sex and often vomit from the explicit dreams when I wake up. My current counselor has not been able to help much and is referring me to start EMDR therapy with another as soon as can be arranged. I knew his affair partner well and she very much disliked me. After 34 years of unhappy marriage, I am not anxious to start over in pain. Will EMS be a waste of time for me to attend?