Q&A Is My Mate Safe for Reconciliation?

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Question: 

My husband approached me a few years ago with “how would you feel about joining a swingers group?” I immediately fell apart, asking why he’d want to see me having relations with another man. I believed back then and still do today that my desire, passion, and body is a gift that only he gets the pleasure of experiencing. Post D-Day I now know that he went ahead and starting meeting up for sex with women who were into having open relationships. I’m in Harboring Hope, he’s doing individual counseling and Hope for Healing. He now talks more openly about how his molestation by an older sister skewed his views about sex as a 9 year old child. The people who were supposed to love him abused him, there’s no association between sex and love for him. He slept with his step sister when he was in high school (while having a girlfriend). His mother has openly been the mistress to a married man for over 20 years. So those are his examples that he sees in his family. He says having his infidelity exposed by me has changed him. Says he can be content to live within a monogamous marriage with me. But if I were to change my stance on swinging in the future, he would still like to try it. Does this sound like a man who can truly live within the confines of the type of marriage that I want?

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