Quoting from Day 2 of Bootcamp..."If you've got someone who is trying to love and trying to "get it" and be safe, there comes a point when you've got to decide you want to live again or keep your heart frozen in a coma, trying to avoid the pain." There is a pattern in our marriage where after my husband has been caught either in an affair and/or viewing pornography he will go to counseling for a while, say he is sorry and won't do it again, etc. Am I avoiding pain by not wanting to continue in this pattern of his behavior again?