Q&A Can You Help With the Unfaithful's Lack of Empathy?

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Question: 

Hi Rick - I want to thank you for your help with a previous question I asked about getting past all the sex my husband did in his 28 years of acting out with prostitutes, porn and masturbation. The horrific intrusive thoughts are still with me and keeping me from being physical with my husband, but I am trying very hard to see him as an entirely new man, as you suggested. I have two questions - one, you have referred to the unfaithful making restitution to the betrayed spouse, and I would like to know exactly what the restitution is and what it would or will look like? Second question is - though my husband is a changed man for the better, he is unable to handle the discussions/conversations when I express my hurt feelings and the horrible images I am dealing with - he retreats in shame and makes it about himself by saying to me he is a worthless piece of crap and I should just divorce him. This attitude/demeanor of his is NOT helpful and in fact is pushing me farther away from him. It is great that he has changed, says he is so sorry, but his lack of empathy and compassion is truly driving me away from the marriage. Can you help us with me dealing with his lack of empathy? Thank you so much for all the caring and effort you put into Affair Recovery.

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