Q&A Did My Choices Contribute to the Affair?

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We've been married 30+ years. This is my husbands 2nd affair with a co-worker during our marriage. My husband has some pretty strong interests and I've always tried to be supportive and a part of them as much as I could in an effort to bless him and just be with him. He has a lot more energy than I do and can't seem to do anything alone.

The past few years I have bowed out of doing a few of those things with him as much because I have lost interest and am just tired but I certainly didn't begrudge him participating in those activities. In the back of my mind there was always some trepidation that my decision to not be by his side would result in another affair but I decided if I can't trust him and have to follow him around everywhere then what kind of a marriage is that. He found a female coworker to be his best friend (also married) and she was willing to be with him everywhere he wanted to go. Then the affair happened.

Although I know he's responsible for his choices, would this affair have happened if I had been by his side all the time? I can't help but wonder if my choices contributed to the affair. I'm thinking about asking him that question but I don't want to give him a reason to blame me for his poor choices. Please help me to process this.



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