Q&A Did My Trust Contribute to the Infidelity?

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Question: 

In this week’s Article of the Week, “Why They Cheat”, you had said someone who was neglected as a child may misperceive their spouses trust as neglect. My husband has neglected and abused as a child and he very often misinterprets what I say or do as an attack or insult as anything that even closely resembles criticism as it triggers childhood wounds. My husband’s affair happened on a bachelor weekend which I had no worries about and said publicly, “it’s ok, I trust my husband “. I truly did with no qualifiers. Would it have made a difference if I was untrusting? Should I have discussed expectations? I thought blind trust was all that was needed. Was I wrong to trust and did he take it to me I didn’t care?

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