Q&A Do I Save Myself or Save the Marriage?

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Question: 

I trickle truthed since the first D-Day and new info only came out when I was “threatened” with separation, divorce or as with this latest dday with taking a poly. Things I told her most recently were both new info and things I had been denying since the first D-Day. Including denying it all when we went over the questions she wanted to ask on the poly just a few days before I told her the truth. I have many issues I am working on and my wife has been dragged through so much pain that she doesn’t want to continue the marriage. I didn’t want to lie but I made it more important to protect me than to protect her and keep her safe. I know she has no idea of what the true reality is. I have called a poly examiner and can schedule an exam online, which I will be doing soon. Should we separate? What is our next course of action? I want to save this marriage, but I know I need to save myself first.

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