Q&A Do Revenge Affairs Help the Unfaithful 'Get it'?

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Question: 

Will an affair or connection with another person help my sex addict partner "get it"? I cannot see any other way. He tries to make amends, does the EMS work, attends 12 step courses, but then admits to lying about his crush, fantasies, and even taking a photo of his crush. He says "it's about progress, not perfection". I find myself waiting for the next deceitful activity which he will "never do again". I'm SICK of dealing with his issues, when he is just going through the motions, not actually recovering! I want/need to move on emotionally. I have options to find the satisfaction I do not receive from my partner. I want to allow connection with another, one who appreciates all the qualities my partner dislikes or is threatened by in me. I long for feeling appreciated, validated, desired! My partner is a vacuum, it's all about him and nothing is ever enough. He is very distressed that I told him of my desires, but I don't care about hurting his feelings. I'm tired. Wrung out. I'm ambivalent about staying. Maybe seeing him suffer the same betrayals would help, but even then I'm not sure. He should see how it is on the other side. I experience some guilt for my attitude, but I feel justified. What advice or opinion do you have about all this?

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