Q&A Has Anyone Rebuilt a Healthy, Safe, Marriage After Something This Complex?

My husband started his affair at the peak of our infertility journey. His affair lasted a year and a half, including during deployment. When I first found out, there were trickle truths—what started as “just a kiss” slowly became sexual, then unprotected, until the full truth came out: the affair partner is pregnant. It’s been almost 10 months since that discovery, and the baby is about 3 months old. She isn’t responding to requests for a paternity test, and since they’re both in the military, it adds another complicated layer. I don’t want a divorce, but the pain feels overwhelming. I was diagnosed with PTSD in August and struggle with intrusive thoughts, constantly questioning what’s real. I’m committed to my marriage if it can become safe again, but I feel like our situation is worse than most, which scares me. I’m even afraid of physical intimacy because of triggering thoughts. My husband is trying to support my healing, but I still wonder if we can ever get back to a good place. I get anxious and triggered easily, even seeing parents with their children. Has anyone rebuilt a healthy, safe marriage after something this complex?