Q&A How Can I Continue to Heal Without My Feelings Being Hijacked by Fear?

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Question: 

Four months ago, I disclosed several casual encounters over a one and a half year period to my partner. We have been going to couples therapy however she is still unsure whether she wants to reconcile or continue in the relationship. One complicating factor is that we don’t live together already due to graduate school on her part and a job in a different location for me. My partner asked that she needs more time to sort out her feelings in individual counseling before moving forward with anything, and has to requested some space to do so. I have been patient but due to her being so unsure, my fear of abandonment is in high gear. I feel that she maybe just waiting to finish her master thesis to break things off between us. The distance between us due to living situation isn’t helping either. What is the best way to respond in this situation? How can I continue the work without my feelings getting hijacked by fear? When I bring up making a decision, at least to try to reconcile, she feels I am pressuring her when she isn’t ready to make a decision yet. I am afraid of bringing this up anymore but I also feel very vulnerable.

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