Q&A How Can I Gain a Better Perspective on What I've Done?

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Question: 

My wife and I are 10 weeks post EMS Weekend and over 2 years from D-day #1. We completed a full disclosure before the weekend where details of more women came out. I am in a 12 step SA recovery group and in week 3 of Hope for Healing. My wife is about week 7 of Harboring Hope. I am really struggling with a lack of accountability on her part to have some control over her verbal flooding. She has been verbally abusive for several years and my multiple affairs have added fuel to that fire. She has never been willing to look at herself critically and I don't have hope that we can get to a great relationship if she is never able to do that. I have been taking the blame for everything for 2 years and I getting really tired of being the bad guy. I'm really at a loss here. I know I am only responsible for my recovery but I’m beginning to loose hope that we can be happy together again. Is there anything else I should be looking for or doing that could help me gain better perspective?

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