Q&A How Can I Move Past My Fear?

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Hi Rick, I have a big fear problem. I am the unfaithful and I am conflict avoidant. I am a pleaser and I walked on egg shells for most of the relationship. The course materials on fear in week 3 of the EMSO made a lot of sense to me, but I am still struggling with the day to day fear of my mate. I cringe each time we talk about commitment, and sometimes when she touches me. I flinch within when my mate takes a deep breath because I anticipate her asking me questions. I am so afraid of my mate that I feel like running away and escaping at any given opportunity. I find it difficult to stay present with my mate during intense conversations as I somehow withdraw emotionally and mentally. This fear of mine is hurting my mate and is putting on a strain in our recovery. I work on staying present in the discomfort, but my fear and anxiety is really affecting my ability to enjoy my mate, and I just feel like escaping. Me and my mate are not married yet and the fear is driving my ambivalence because there is still an exit door from the relationship. Do you have any suggestions for me?



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