Q&A How Can I Trust What the Wayward Spouse Is Disclosing to Me?

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My wife had a one-night-stand. The first disclosure was a claim of violation, shortly following in the weeks later a different disclosure occurred which she took more responsibility. Fast forward 6 months and she comes clean that there were 3 lies she had kept since very early on in which through many questions had opportunities either being asked about the topic or specifically about the lies, one being a breach of a boundary we had set after affair. She also gave me what I feel, was many more details that had just come to her about the event. She says she finally feels free. I feel like she just dumped a huge load on me and a round 3 of processing while she is singing and carrying on like nothing big happened. We had been making pretty good progress up till round 3. Now any trust that began to glimmer has been set back. I'd I go with her being honest in round 3, the new details will be tough and triggering to me, but the lies are what I feel stand as a bigger obstacle to building trust moving forward. Should I believe her that the new details are in fact real? How do I trust her? Should I be ready for more? Seems a bit like compulsive lying, the lies weren't of great magnitude compared to the detail. Why lie and hold them in? Now I'm questioning her character.



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