Why the Unfaithful Spouse Refuses to Give Their Betrayed Spouse Details about Their Affair

Samuel shares practical insight into why the unfaithful hesitates to give details about their affair.

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This is a good video. I hope

This is a good video. I hope couples who are near discovery take this to heart. My husband fit so many of the situations you described and I not understanding just how dysfunctional my husbands thinking and core really was, truly did NOT understand that he wasn’t healthy enough to respond in healthy ways. I was still hanging on to the man I had always believed he was. It took a months to truly see him clearly. I think my expectations were way too high on how he would respond, embrace recovery....
I knew the cheating was selfish, impulsive and immature, but truly understanding compartmentalizing,
justifying, the high were more than I knew at the time. I think betrayed spouses are truly blindsided by what we are dealing with in truly seeing our partner for who they really are and letting go of the ghost that we knew.
How long did you and your wife discuss the affair? I still find myself at 2 years asking questions (usually when triggered). It’s turned into a weird way that I try to ground myself but usually sets us back. The questions evolved from fact based to now wondering about “feelings” or worse comparisons. Did this happen to ya’ll.

More confused than ever

I haven't even finished the video and I'm already lost. As a man of God I am shocked to hear you say that a betrayed would be angry at God. The only person I have not been angry at this whole time is Him! My husband needs help and I cannot force it upon him and all I can do now is pray. I will continue to heal on my own, with God's help. I hope one day he will feel the same way 😊

i'm sorry you're shocked....

i would never want to upset anyone or hurt them nor shock them, but betrayed spouses are angry at God all the time for allowing their spouse to cheat and act out.  it's not God's fault...it's the unfaithful spouse's fault, but betrayed spouses in the thousands struggle with this pain and it's 1. understandable 2. completely normal 3. a pit that some fall in and it takes time and expert help to navigate out of it 4. an essential part of helping a betrayed spouse heal IF they come from faith. I'm very sorry anything I said upset you and we never want content to be upsetting to those in crisis. i do hope you can see the validity of the pain many betrayeds feel.