Q&A How Do I Deal with My Mates Ambivalence?

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Question: 

My husband and I are coming up on a year of discovery. He only cut off the affair partner about 2 months ago. In August of last year, he moved out of state (one because he was still hiding the affair and two he was running away from taking responsibility). We have still been in contact, but he is still very ambivalent about the marriage and his drive to work on the marriage is very low. He says he still loves me, doesn't want to lose me. I am committed to the process of figuring things out, but he comes at it from a different angle of wanting to chose to be in the marriage before working on things. He wants a full separation before we move in one direction or another. I don't know how to respond to this request and I don't want to defend the marriage anymore. Any suggestion. He is already enrolled in the Hope for Healing course, but has yet to begin it.

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