Q&A How do I Deal with my Spouse's Ambivalence?

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Dear Rick,

My husband and I attended EMS Weekend are presently involved in Married For Life. He and I are both receiving professional help individually. We have been separated for about 3.5 months but less than a month ago he expressed that we were becoming more and more distant and he did not want that and did not want to lose me or our marriage. I then moved home the next.

Several weeks ago he told me he had cut off all contact with his AP, and asked her not to contact him. He was expressing feelings of happiness and lightness and felt good about himself and would share that with me as well as our Married For Life group. Still, his AP has continued to text him and also recently showed up at his work along with her entire family where he saw all of them.

Literally, the day I moved back home he informed me he was back to texting with his AP on a daily basis and is feeling stressed and scared after living apart for the last few months, where he found comfort in not having to deal with all the pain he has caused me. He tells me he loves me very much but is so afraid we will never recover. He also says he hates talking about all of it and just wants things to be easy. Needless to say, I was feeling so positive and excited about moving home, and now feel completely deflated, heartbroken, as well as unsafe once again. I mentioned that maybe he should move out, but we both have agreed to wait at least two weeks to decide. I would love some advice on how to proceed at this point. I feel like a ping pong ball. My husband’s ambivalence and emotions being in control are wearing me down.



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