Q&A How Do I Get over All of the Pain That I Have Caused?

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I was unfaithful 7 months ago, having a 2 night stand. It has been a rollercoaster of him saying he’s going to divorce me, he quit all our counseling work shortly after we had begun and says he knows divorce is the only answer. He says he knows I’ve changed and grown and is proud of me but he doesn’t want me after what I did. He says he has taken enough time and isn’t willing to wait longer and knows he wants to divorce. He says he believes I’d never do this again but he won’t give his heart to me. I’ve been in counseling for 7 months, I kid you not, done all the work I can do, and he says that it doesn’t matter what I do because I can’t undo what I did. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for our marriage, and yet, I know I don’t deserve it after my utter failure as a wife and the devastation I caused. What would your advice be for me here? I’ve been with him since I was 19 and don’t know how to let him go, and I hope this isn’t disrespectful to say, it is my honest feeling, that in a crazy way it now feels like I’m being rejected and abandoned. I don’t know how to walk through this on top of the sheer hatred I have for myself over what I did to my husband and family and my own body and soul. I never wanted to lose my husband and now I’m faced with that as a potentially real consequence of my actions and I don’t know how to process being the cause of so many people’s pain, including my own.



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