Q&A How Do I Know Limerance Isn’t What My Husband Feels for Me?

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During our 38 year marriage my husband had four affairs. Three were sex only. The last began as sex with two encounters prior to the affair partner leaving for three months during which they corresponded multiple times a day. My husband initially kept in contact to guarantee sex upon return but found that he thought he was falling in love. She was stroking his ego, expressing her love, and insisting he felt the same. He was confused, agitated and preoccupied. D-Day occurred prior to her return and although limerance seems to be in play, it took only three days for my husband to come to his senses. Day 1, my husband reached out to the affair partner for comfort on being caught. Day 2, he did not want to give up on our marriage but asked her to wait in case I kicked him out! Day 3, she began making demands that he says brought him to his senses. He told her it was over and insisted she stop contact. Since then my husband has been honest, loving, working on changing his selfish behavior and looking into baggage that contributed betrayals. We both do individual therapy, EMS Online and are closer than ever. Four months out, my husband expresses his undying love. I know my husband is a good man but this side line sexual behavior makes me doubt everything. How do I know this is not limerance for me?



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