Q&A How Do I Know When to Avoid Reminders and When to Push through Them?

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My husband and I have been married six years and he cheated on me with dozens of partners almost the entire marriage, with progressing severity. We had an initial D-Day in October 2018 but my husband lied about the majority of what was going on, so we had a second D-Day in December 2019. The cheating involved several different women in a variety of setting and several cities. It seems there are so many reminders. I just finished week 4 of EMSO on thoughts and feelings and it was very helpful. My question is, how do I know when to avoid reminders and when to push through them? For example, my husband travels for work and often I come along. I am tempted to refuse to travel to the places where he cheated, but then I think maybe it would be better to expose myself to the triggers and work through the difficult thoughts. Another example is pictures of us during the times I know he was cheating (which is most of the marriage)...I am tempted to throw these away, but should I make myself see the reminders so I desensitize myself to them? I would appreciate clarity on this.



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