Q&A How Do I Respond to Old Urges & Pathways Without Becoming Overly Vigilant?

I struggled for about 20 years with pornography, masturbation, and objectifying/sexualizing women. Four months ago, my wife discovered my pornography addiction and that I had also been fantasizing about a friend of hers. Since then, I’ve stopped these behaviors and have been intentionally working to stop reinforcing those old sexual pathways. One thing I’m struggling to understand is what happens internally when I’m around women in public. I’m very conscious of not wanting to look at, objectify, or sexualize women, but I still notice their presence and sometimes feel what seems like an old conditioned urge to look. I don’t actually want to follow it, so it can feel like an internal battle between old pathways and the person I want to be. I’ve also committed to being transparent with my wife about anything internally that I believe she deserves to know, which may make me more anxious and hyperaware of what is happening in my mind. At times, monitoring myself has become distracting, even during things like church, although this has improved significantly over the past four months. How should I understand these experiences at this stage of recovery? How do I appropriately respond to old urges & pathways without either feeding them or becoming overly vigilant and preoccupied with whether they are happening?