Q&A How Do I Show Acceptance and What Does It Look Like?

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I am struggling with acceptance. I know my wayward spouse feels I am judgmental - that I do not accept him. I want to but how do I accept sexual acting out? I say (and believe) it is his behaviors, not the hurt little boy he is inside, that is the problem. I tell him, and mean it, that I love the little boy, he is lovable. I try to often tell him about his good points. I never call him names. I try to hug and be affectionate. It doesn't seem to be enough. I understand though as sometimes it doesn't really feel like acceptance to me either. We are not committed to reconciliation only to considering it. He says that he can't love me because he doesn't love himself. Is it that he doesn't accept himself so he can't believe I accept him. How do I show acceptance? What does acceptance look like?



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Acceptance despite self-centeredness?

It is a struggle for me to accept my wayward wife sometimes because of behaviors and decisions she makes that still seem very selfish to me. How do I show her acceptance. She almost always feel like I am judging her, but it is her continued actions, her continued selfishness that are what I am reacting to. I appreciate the work she is trying to do on herself, but when I see those indicators of self-centeredness I have a really hard time believing that I should be "accepting" of that. I know that it is a process and a journey she is on and that its not a place she can just teleport to. So how do I accept her despite behaviors that are so scary to me?